Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Worst Movies of the Decade

I just wanted to take a time-out from my series on the best films of the decade to recognize the worst. While I've only seen one film on Rotten Tomatoes' list of the worst reviewed films of the decade I have managed to see some crap. Thankfully, the nightmares must be over since I had to research my Netflix ratings to jog my memory on crappy movies.

So, here are my top 25 worst movies I've seen this decade. The movies listed below are all theatrical releases only, NO straight-to-DVD films. I've decided to make a brief statement about the top 10 as to why I thought they were crap.

Enjoy!

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
While the action in this cash cow is truly awesome, the reason this movie stands above all the terrible action movies listed below is it isn't just horrendously ridiculous, illogical, or full of itself - no, it is the single most offensive film I've seen this decade. It's racist, sexist, objectifies women, and insults the audience's intelligence - all of this from a film marketing a kid's toy line!

2. Teeth
Many thought this was a great horror film. I found all the characters to be horrendous and difficult to believe, which defeated the movie's point.

3. Doogal
On Rotten Tomatoes' list. Only saw it because of work. The single worst animated movie of the decade. A complete waste of a talented cast.

4. What the Bleep Do We Know?!
Absolutely moronic. Worst documentary of the decade.

5. Gods and Generals
Bloated and unnecessary sequel to a war film of all things. Most boring film of the decade.

6. What's the Worst That Could Happen?
The joke is "This movie." It's in no way a funny movie. Worst comedy of the decade.

7. Cat in the Hat
Embarrassingly bad for everybody involved. Mikey Myers' worst performance.

8. Haunted Mansion
I weep for Eddie Murphy. Watch Beverly Hills Cop and then this (if you must). The difference is unbelievable. Terrible idea. Terrible family film.

9. Pearl Harbor
Michael Bay directing a history film is an awful idea. It so painfully tries to be Titanic at war and ends up being the worst romance and epic of the decade. Painfully bad. The bombing sequence was good, however.

10. Aliens Vs. Predator
Horrendously acted. Embarrassingly cheesy. Laughingly bad. And not nearly as gory or scary as it should've been.
11. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
12. Cursed
13. Zu Warriors
14. Van Helsing
15. Balls of Fury
16. Zombie Strippers
17. Bad Boys 2
18. Underworld
19. DOA: Dead or Alive
20. Wolverine
21. D.E.B.S.
22. The Punisher
23. S.W.A.T.
24. American Pie 2
25. Pauly Shore is Dead

Feel free to argue, respectfully disagree, or yell in the comments section below.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Best of the Decade: Documentaries & Animation

All right, finally on to the next countdown of the decade. For this entry, I'll be counting down my picks for the best documentaries and animated features of the decade.


This has been a highly politically-charged decade and documentaries reflected the polarizing issues of the time. The genre also took a more populist turn this decade, which worked in favor of the issue-heavy films. In fact, at first glance it was rather difficult to think of films that didn't have anything to do with foreign politics or social issues. But upon further research, it was clear there were just as many Grizzly Mans as there were Inconvenient Truths. Here are the ones that are guaranteed to entertain and engage your minds:

10. DiG!
9. Control Room
8. Winged Migration
7. Spellbound
6. An Inconvenient Truth
5. Who Killed the Electric Car?
4. Fahrenheit 9/11
3. Murderball
2. Bowling for Columbine
1. Fog of War

Honorable mentions: Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, The Corporation, and Super Size Me

Even if you know nothing about any of these, I encourage you to check them out and add them to your Netflix queue - you won't be disappointed!


Now on to the Animated features. I know that some bristle at the idea of segregating them as a separate category. While I don't disagree that animation can masterfully tell stories of whimsy as well as heartache or horror, I just felt I had to honor them alone to give a better opportunity for some to be represented.

Now, I think it goes without saying that Pixar pretty much ruled the decade in the field of animation. No, I'm not being paid by them in any way. But if you look in terms of prioritizing character and story first then technical achievment second, Pixar always comes out on top in every way. However, there are a few non-Pixar animated movies that came out this decade that made quite a mark.

Briefly, I would note that when considering this category, I thought of the movies that had memorable characters, a story that makes you care, and that tried doing something different either on a technical or thematic level. For every Monsters Inc. there's a hundred Happily N'Ever Afters. Here we go:

10. Shrek
9. The Triplets of Belleville
8. Finding Nemo
7. The Incredibles
6. Bolt
5. Spirited Away
4. Ratatouille
3. Persepolis
2. Up
1. Wall-E


Honorable mention: Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit

I'm sure you've probably seen most of these. But be sure to check out the one or two that have escaped your attention. They are all thoroughly enjoyable.


Right. Well, if there's a film you think I neglected to consider, please write in on the comments below. Remember, the order of these lists are somewhat rough so don't be offended if you thought The Incredibles was a slightly better film than Bolt or something. That being said, I welcome your feedback.

Next time I will be counting down the best in comic book and sci-fi movies. Enjoy!